I've been thinking a lot lately about moving on...in two very different ways.
One of my dear friends is fighting cancer. One of my favorite people in the whole world. It's finally come down to these last days when God is going to heal her - one way or the other. I know that if He wants to, He has the power to miraculously heal her of this awful disease and let her stay here with all of us for many more years. He could do that. And what an incredible testimony that would be to so many who know and love Carol. But I also know He may choose to heal her once and for all by taking her home to be with Him. If that's His decision, then Carol will be great. But we will all miss her so much.
I was talking to Danielle, one of my daughter-in-laws, yesterday about this whole awful process of death. The process itself can be so painful and hard for everyone involved. And I was sharing with her about what it was like when my mom died. She also had cancer. And I was there with her many years ago when she died. The process of her death was a very dark and confusing time for me. I remember clinging to the verse from Isaiah that says (my paraphrase) "Who among you loves the Lord and walks according to His commandments, yet walks in darkness and has no light. Let him trust in the name of the Lord." Sometimes we hurt so bad in this world, and are so confused, that we just have to cling to the truths we know about God.
That's what I was doing as I watched my mom slipping away from us over those last days. But then that final moment came when I was alone there with her. And after all the pain and darkness...that moment was a miracle. In that one moment she was set free from all the pain and sorrow of this world. I knew she would never have to deal with any of that again. And in that moment, I couldn't see it, but I knew that she had become more alive than she had ever been before. I remember thinking, and being surprised by the fact, that her "death" in this world, in that moment, was as much a miracle as the moments when my children were each born. A brand new life. Such a miracle!
If God chooses to take Carol home to be with Him now, I will miss her so much. But I will once again be in awe of God's awesome power and His incredible plan for us. This life here on earth is only the beginning. There's something so much better up ahead for all of us.
The other "moving on" that I've been thinking about lately has to do with the fact that Dave and I are once again waiting for God to show us what's next. I'm not sure why He chooses to work with Dave and I this way...telling us to pack up and be ready to go...somewhere. But we're ready. The house sold. Most of our worldly possessions are in storage somewhere. And we are waiting for Him to point us in the direction He wants us to go next. Exciting times. But one thing we're doing different this time - we're not making any lists or even trying to figure out what God might have in mind. We tried that last time and God ended up taking us somewhere totally unexpected. So this time...no lists. We're just sitting back and waiting for Him to lay out the road map. Then we'll follow.
